How to Face Your Fears : Facing Fears Head on
“Fear: an unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful, or bad that is happening or might happen:”
What is fear?
As soon as you see something that you fear, your amygdala starts working. It sends an alert to your nervous system, which in turn sets your body into a response mode, characterised by palpitations, shortness of breath, increased blood pressure and heartbeat, as well as sweating palms and trembling.
This is all caused by the stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, that are released into your system.
This is your primitive brain at work, the part of the brain that thousands of years ago kept humans safe from predators and alerted them to danger from things such as wild animals.
Of course, there will be very few people who ever find themselves in the sort of dangerous situations that our ancestors found themselves in, but our bodies still respond to fear in the same way.
Fear is an emotion that we all have at various times in our lives. It is a normal part of being human and is also essential for keeping us safe.
The feeling of fear helps us notice when something could harm us; it is, therefore, a necessary component of human life.
For many people, though, their fears have done more harm than good. Instead of being there to keep them safe, they can end up destroying their lives or placing a stranglehold on them.
“Everything is on the other side of fear”
What is causing your fear?
There are fears in life that have no practical use to us, and all they do is hold us back.
How many people have had a fear of public speaking at one time or another, for example?
The emotion of fear in this situation is anything but helpful and can even be detrimental to us.
This kind of fear can hold you back professionally and can cause you real problems in social situations, where you may have to make a speech or be in the public eye in some capacity.
Dealing with this kind of fear is essential in life, as otherwise, you are going to end up having fearful encounters that you will either end up avoiding or that will start to affect the quality of your life.
Other people have a real fear of spiders, snakes or birds. Again, fears serve no purpose but to add discomfort and restriction to life.
These are the sort of fears that can cripple a person emotionally, an irrational fear that can take over their lives.
Fears and phobias can take over a person’s life. Even the most controlled and rational person can be left in a state of nerves when confronted by something that they fear.
These fears and phobias can leave a person in a state of perpetual anxiety.
Fear should never be the reason that you put off doing things or living.
If you live under a cloud of fear, you are going to live a half-life, as Jack Canfield says, “ Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
Learning to live with this idea can help you achieve so much more in life, rather than hiding behind fear and never pushing yourself because you fear what may happen.
Get to know what your fears are
Many people have fears that they have inherited, for example, if you have been brought up by somebody who has a fear of spiders, they can very well influence you to adopt the same fear.
You may not even know why you are afraid; it is just learned behaviour in you.
Discovering what your fears actually are means that you are closer to eradicating them in your life.
Nobody wants to be held captive throughout their life by fear, not being able to do things because of an overwhelming sense of being frightened.
Understanding what fear is and why we have it is the first step to breaking the cycle.
Fear is brought about through the mind. Knowing this is a powerful tool for conquering your fears.
A fear of public speaking is brought on because your mind thinks about what other people will think of you.
It’s the thoughts that you have going on in your brain that make you afraid:
“Will I look stupid?
Are people judging me?
Am I boring ?”
It’s not the actual speaking itself that is bringing about the fear, but more what you are imagining other people around you are thinking.
Therefore, learning to control the thoughts that you have going on in your mind will help you to face your fears.
There are many ways that you can work to control your fears.
Although this can seem daunting when you first begin, the effort and commitment that you put into it are going to be worthwhile.
What you have to realise is that change is not going to happen overnight.
Deep-rooted fears have been growing in your mind for a long time, and it is going to take time and effort to remove them… but it can be done.
Why you should face up to your fears
Break the pattern of negative reinforcement - By avoiding a situation, you will find that you get a momentary feeling of relief, but the fear is still there.
Avoiding the situation is not going to make it go away, and next time you have to face it, you are just going to feel worse.
Learning to break the pattern will put you back in control and will save you from constantly buffering through your life.
“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.”
How to fight your fears
Whatever it is that scares you in life, there are many ways that you can learn to cope and overcome your feelings.
Visualise a safe space to go to - If you are struck by a fearful thought, use your mind to visualise a safe place to go to.
Introducing a positive, safe space into your brain will replace any negative, fearful ideas that you have.
Working with a coach can be one of the best ways to start eradicating fear from your life.
Coaching puts you back in control by arming you with the knowledge and the tools that you need to take the fear away.
The brain learns behaviour over many years. Situations from when you were young can still have a great effect on how you think and feel today.
These behaviours won’t just go away because you want them to; you need to work on your brain to retrain your thinking.
It could be through the use of CBT or Avoidance Therapy to help you start rewiring your brain to eradicate the fear.
Many people find that working with a coach gives them accountability, which helps them to continue on their journey.
If you would like to discover more about how coaching can help you to take control of fear in your life, then click on the link to coaching services for fear.
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Do you have any other questions about facing your fears? Please feel free to get in touch to discover more about learning to face your fears.
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