There is often an assumption that confidence should increase with age. By the time you reach your 40s or 50s, many people believe you should know exactly who you are, feel secure in yourself and have life figured out.

But for many women, the opposite happens.

Confidence can drop in midlife, often at the exact time you thought you would feel more settled and more certain of yourself.

You may begin to question yourself more, compare yourself to younger versions of yourself, or stop trusting your own instincts.

You may feel unsure about your appearance, career, relationships or future. You may begin to wonder why you no longer feel like yourself. And the difficult part is that, on the outside, life may still look fine.

You may still be working, looking after everyone else, keeping everything going and appearing capable to the people around you. But underneath it, something feels different.

We can all have that feeling from time to time of being lost. It can start as a single thought one day, and before you know it, you are stuck in a mindset of depression, negativity and feeling that you have totally lost your way in life.

It can appear out of the blue or can creep up, a niggle here, a doubt there. Whichever way it shows up, it can leave you feeling paralysed with doubt, fear and indecision, almost trapped in your own life.

But the good news…yes, there is good news; this can sometimes be a sign from your mind that you need to make changes, and it can be the wake-up call to start moving forward in your life with positivity and purpose.

I understand where you are coming from because I felt like this a few years ago… adrift in my own life, like I had lost my purpose, my reason and I was unsure of which direction to go in…I didn’t know what I wanted I just knew I wanted something more, something different and I needed to rediscover the person who I had been before I felt like this.

And so I embarked on a journey to rediscover myself, to fall back in love with my life, to find my purpose and push myself forward in new, exciting ways that stretched and challenged me.

Positive self-talk is the inner dialogue that uplifts, supports, and encourages you rather than criticises or doubts.

It's the voice that says, “I can handle this,” even when you're feeling unsure. Instead of focusing on limitations, it helps you see possibilities and build resilience.

Positive self-talk doesn’t ignore difficulties—it reframes them. Positive self-talk has been shown to improve psychological well-being, reduce stress, and even boost immunity.

A simple example would be shifting from “I’m terrible at this” to “I’m learning and improving every day.”

Are you the sort of person who says “Yes” to everything when every fibre of you wants to scream” No!”? Do you feel delegated to do everything, whether at work or at home, and you end up feeling taken for granted and used, yet you do it anyway?

If either of these scenarios resonates with you, you are suffering from a lack of assertiveness, fearing the reaction of other people instead of standing up for yourself.

This is a very common problem many people suffer from, but the good news is that once identified, you can rid yourself of it.

Struggling to be assertive often stems from a fear of conflict, rejection, or the desire to be liked.

Many people were never taught how to express their needs confidently, especially if they grew up in environments where being passive or overly accommodating was encouraged.

This can lead to internalized beliefs that speaking up is selfish or rude. However, assertiveness is about balance—honouring both your needs and the needs of others.

Start by noticing situations where you remain silent even when you have something important to express