Feeling Lost in Your 50s (15 Easy Ways for Finding Purpose in Life After 50)
Finding Purpose in Life After 50
“Wisdom comes with winters”
Are you one of the many people feeling lost in your 50s? Unsure of what has happened in your life thus far and not knowing where you are going or what you want to be doing as you get older? Do you feel that the spark has gone from your life, you’re not sure when it went out or how to get it back.
If you have heard about The U-shape Happiness Curve then you may be approaching your 50s with some trepidation or you may be in them already and thinking…is this life? The U-shape Happiness curve proposes that by the time we reach middle age - roughly our 50s now, we will be in a slump, at the bottom of the U and our unhappiest, before we start to rise again in our 60s.
Why should this be the case though, why should we get to our 50s and feel that life is over and we are suddenly thrown into a pit of gloom and despair? It doesn’t have to be like this at all. Our 50s can and should be some of the best times that we have in life.
It is an age when many of us are settled with a good job, a home, and a growing family who will have flown the nest, our responsibilities to others getting a little less, more disposable income and the insecurities of our early life are in the past.
If we have all of this good stuff going on in our lives, why then do we get to our middle years and have this slump? It’s not as if this was a small study, 1.3 million people from 51 countries were randomly sampled.
Can everyone really be thinking and feeling the same thing regardless of their lifestyles and where they live in the world? The evidence would seem to suggest that this is indeed the case.
Here’s the thing though, I know people, myself included who are in their 50s and loving it. Enjoying each day that is given to them and those who are relishing this time of their life.
Discover how to find yourself and happiness in your 50s
They aren’t people who have amazing wealth, fabulous homes and lives that most people could only dream of; they have just discovered the secret to living a life that they love regardless of their age. It’s not some complicated formula, they haven’t had to spend a fortune and anyone can make it happen for themselves.
The 15 easy tips below will give you a real insight into how you can find a purpose in your life in your 50s and love every moment of it.
“I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming… suddenly you find – at the age of 50, say – that a whole new life has opened before you”
15 Ways to find purpose in life after 50
Let’s examine the ways that you can find purpose in your life once you turn 50.
Start being more active
Movement makes you happy. It’s a well-established fact that once we start to move around, the brain releases feel-good chemicals into our system and we begin to smile.
You don’t need to be hitting the gym every day to get moving. Go for a walk. Get out in nature, follow a history trail, walk along the beach or walk through your town centre.
Start a dance class, do some gardening or ride a bike the choice is endless of activities you can do.
The trick is to get moving. If you have people to go then take them along. Movement is great for every aspect of our well-being.
It fortifies our mental health, as a stronger mind makes for a stronger body, it keeps us at a good weight so as not to put too much strain on our bodies and it is a good weight-bearing exercise meaning that our bones and joints stay healthy.
The more active you are, the more energy you have to enjoy life and the fitter you become, meaning fewer aches and pains and in general feeling more like you did when you were younger. Age is no restriction on staying fit and will make you feel years younger…. I promise.
Ask “What am I really passionate about in life?”
Now is the time when you may start to have a bit more time to yourself. Some will be taking early retirement, and some will go part-time in work, whatever your situation you may discover you have more time on your hands to start indulging in your passions.
Passions and hobbies in life make us happy. They keep us mentally alert, give us a sense of purpose, are great ways to socialise and can give us a reason to get up in the morning. Ask yourself what your passions are in life if need be write down some ideas. The trick is to do something that makes you feel good to be alive.
Adopt a new mental approach
Happiness is an attitude, you can think yourself into being happy or sad. Happiness doesn’t require money, possessions or lots of people.
All you need to have a happy and fulfilling life is to have the right mental approach to life. For me this is the secret to living your best life, deciding that is what you want to do and mentally doing it.
Start looking after your physical health
As stated above exercise is needed to stay healthy and one of the tricks to ageing well is keeping physically fit. Nothing seems to age you quite so much as stiff joints and aches and pains. Not being able to stand up easily or bend seems to add to the years more than anything.
Make a real effort to stay physically fit, stay at a good weight, get plenty of sleep and have a well-balanced diet. Avoid too much alcohol and definitely give up smoking. Small incremental changes can make a huge difference to your overall health, so start today.
Take time out for reflection
If you start to feel melancholy about getting older, take some time out for reflection. Age is a gift that not everyone is given. Be thankful that you have got to the age that you are and that you have the gift of life still ahead of you. Think of all of the important lessons life has taught you up to this point.
Think also of how you were in your younger years, the worries and concerns that you used to have then and think of how you have mentally matured and grown onto your skin as you have got older.
6. Learn to stop NATs (Negative Automatic Thoughts)
We can have negative automatic thoughts at any age but the trick to being happy and contented is learning to break this habit. At the end of the day, that is all that they are, bad habits that we have learned over the years. Thinking in more positive ways, developing better cognitive habits and not letting external matters invade our happiness is the trick.
7. Start the process of goal setting
No doubt from an early age you had goals in mind, even if you didn’t automatically set them, they will have been there.
Go to school, get a good education, go to University or get a job, marry, buy a house, have a family, work…….the list of goals goes on and on.
By the time you reach your 50s, those goals could be getting fewer so now is the time to start creating your own goals of things that you have always wanted to do, whether it’s to do a skydive, trek through Machu Picchu or simply start painting.
Start your goal-setting and make your life all that you want it to be.
8. Set your own course in life
Many people will have had someone else telling them what to do for most of their lives. Parents, teachers or bosses, always directing their lives as to what to do, where to go, what to say or how to behave.
The best thing about getting older is that this starts to happen less and less. You can now start to set your own course in life and decide what you want to do.
9. Keep your mind active by learning new things
Cognitive functions can start to suffer as we age. One of the best ways to keep your mind fit and healthy is to keep learning and stretching the mind. The mind is a muscle like any other and needs to be used to stay in tip-top condition. Do puzzles, crosswords, sudoku, learn a new language or read more just make sure that you keep your mind as active as your body.
10. Keep socialising
Having people around you who are positive, fit and enjoy life are the best people to have around. An active social life is one of the simplest ways of feeling younger.
Having places to go and people to go with, enjoying someone else’s company, shared laughter and companionship are some of the best things that we can have in life.
Whether it is a significant other, family or friends, the importance of having other people around you is huge. Socialising is good for mental and physical health.
If you are short of people in your life, join social groups, whether in person or online. There is so much opportunity now to meet new people, make sure that you get out there and start.
11. Start journaling to keep you on track
Journalling is a great trick to keep you mentally in the right place. We can all have moments of feeling blue, let’s not even try to pretend that everyone is happy all of the time, it doesn’t happen in life, nor would we want it to. There are always going to be times when you feel sad and that is the right emotion to be having.
A journal can help you to track your thoughts and feelings, so if you start to slump you can retrace your steps and see what has been happening to make you feel this way.
12. Be brave, step out of your comfort zone
What better time to start coming out of your comfort zone than in your 50s? By the time many of us reach 50, we no longer worry about what other people think about us (it’s none of our business by the way!)
We have lost many of the inhibitions that we had when we were younger so come out from behind your mask, break free of your comfort zone and really start giving life a go. Embrace all of the things that you have always wanted to do, throw inhibitions to the wind and enjoy life!
13. Visualise your ideal life and work towards it
Visualisation is the perfect technique to imagine yourself doing new things. “If you can dream it you can do it….” so said Walt Disney and this is the essence of visualisation.
If there is something you want, imagine it, set a mental picture of it in your mind as if it were true and think about it every day.
The mind will start to make happen the things we think about…good or bad, so make sure you are visualising all of the good stuff that you want your life to be like.
14. Throw away the “ I’m too old excuse”
50 is absolutely the wrong age to use the excuse “ I’m too old”. In my opinion, you are never too old to try anything new, embark on any fresh challenge or enjoy life.
Age is just a number after all and we are always as young as we feel. Stop putting an age restriction on your life, live each day as if you only have today and just go out and enjoy life.
Live in this moment in time without thinking about age and you will be amazed at how different you will feel.
15. Use the power of gratitude
Although this is the last point here, in some ways I feel this is the most important point and is certainly the key to my positive mental attitude about being in my 50s and getting older.
I am grateful to be in my 50s to be ageing and to have a life to live. Getting older is no guarantee and I am sure we all know people who passed too soon and will never have the privilege of being in their 50s.
I am grateful every day for my good health, the people in my life, the job that I do and the fact that I can live the life I want. The more grateful you are, the more you will have to be grateful for.
“I enjoy speaking to other women about turning 50, and how we can enjoy it, and how we can explore it”
Final Thoughts
When I have clients who tell me that they feel lost in their 50s, I always know it is a mental attitude that is at fault.
When you think about it your 50s are no worse than your 40s and certainly no worse than your 60s. If we didn’t put an age on ourselves, I wonder if we would feel the same way.
The right mental attitude is the trick to having a purpose in your life whatever your age. Stay mentally fit and healthy, live the life that you want to be living and live it as much as possible the way that you want to live it.
Make sure that you practice self-care and have time to yourself to indulge in the activities that you love.
Be grateful for the time that you have had and the time that you have left to live, embrace life, challenge yourself, step out of your comfort zone and live.
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