There is often an assumption that confidence should increase with age. By the time you reach your 40s or 50s, many people believe you should know exactly who you are, feel secure in yourself and have life figured out.

But for many women, the opposite happens.

Confidence can drop in midlife, often at the exact time you thought you would feel more settled and more certain of yourself.

You may begin to question yourself more, compare yourself to younger versions of yourself, or stop trusting your own instincts.

You may feel unsure about your appearance, career, relationships or future. You may begin to wonder why you no longer feel like yourself. And the difficult part is that, on the outside, life may still look fine.

You may still be working, looking after everyone else, keeping everything going and appearing capable to the people around you. But underneath it, something feels different.

Have you ever scrolled past someone’s success story and thought, “Good for them, but I could never…”? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Self-belief can feel out of reach when you’re stuck in self-doubt, but confidence isn’t a personality trait; it’s a practice.

“Why do I struggle to believe in myself?” This is a question I hear often, during coaching sessions with women who, on the surface, look as if they have life sorted.

They are ticking the right boxes and seem to be in control, and yet this question arises so many times…“Why can’t I just believe in myself?”

And if you’ve ever asked it too, know this: you’re not broken, and you’re certainly not alone.

The simple truth is, many of us were never taught how to believe in ourselves. We were taught to keep our heads down, not to get “too big for our boots”, and to put others first.

And while humility has its place, over time it can chip away at our sense of self if we’re not careful.

Another simple truth is, confidence isn’t something reserved for a chosen few, the winners in life; it’s something we build. It’s like a garden, with the right tools, you can start cultivating it, bit by bit.