Recently, in a yoga class, one of the ladies described her situation as a little babushka doll in a set, and I knew exactly what she meant.

She is sandwiched between older relatives who are beginning to need more from her, younger children who still need her in different ways, a full-time job, a partner, friends and all the everyday responsibilities that seem to accumulate as we get older, and somewhere in the middle of all of this, she has started to lose sight of who she actually is.

The thing is, from the outside, she has what most people would probably describe as a good life. She has a good job and people she loves; she is intelligent, funny and articulate.

There is nothing about her life that would necessarily make somebody think that she should be struggling with her sense of identity or wondering what happened to the person she used to be.

So why does she, and why do so many other women reach their 40s and 50s and find themselves feeling lost, stuck or strangely disconnected from their own lives?

I think this is one of the things about midlife that we don't always talk about very honestly.