You know you need to begin, you know that it will be good for you, the new exercise routine, career move, self-care routine or relationship.

You have been meaning to make the changes for some time now, but still here you are, in the same position, thinking the same thoughts.

You tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow. Then the next day. Then the one after that. A task that once felt simple, one that you wanted to start, you were so excited about, now feels heavy, almost too big to hold.

And in the background, a familiar whisper starts to build
“Why can’t I just get on with it?”
“What’s wrong with me?”

We have probably all been here, I know I have, but here’s the truth: nothing is wrong with you.

You aren’t broken, useless or lacking drive and motivation; all of these flaws you have been telling yourself.

Procrastination is not a flaw in your character; it’s a signal from a part of you that’s feeling overwhelmed, unseen, scared, or simply tired of pushing.

As women, we carry emotional and energetic loads that rarely get acknowledged. And when those loads build up, motivation naturally begins to fade.

Not because we don’t care, but because we’ve been caring for everything and everyone for too long without tending to ourselves.

The drive that was once there fades as everything else seems more important; your needs begin to take a back seat.

You begin to feel that you are stuck, lost, lacking purpose, and there is no way out of this mire. This is where a holistic approach changes everything.

It often happens without you realising at first. One day, you notice that people don’t look your way as much. Your opinion in meetings seems to carry less weight. You start to feel overlooked by others and perhaps by yourself, too.

It’s almost as if you are starting to fade away, becoming invisible as younger, louder, more confident people start to loom over you.

Many women experience this sense of invisibility as they grow older, particularly in midlife. Our youth-obsessed culture often equates value with appearance, energy, and external success, leaving women who are older, wiser, and more grounded feeling unseen.

This could have happened to you or someone you know. You may have felt aggrieved that you have been overlooked for someone else, knowing full well that this is a bias against age, not experience or talent.

A client I worked with told me a story of her sister being overlooked at a bar, younger people being served before her, even though she had been standing waiting patiently.

The scary part, she said, was that she didn’t raise a fuss; she just stood patiently waiting to be noticed.

But here’s the truth: you are not invisible. You’ve simply outgrown a system that doesn’t know how to value depth, experience, and authenticity.

As a holistic life coach for women, I see this pattern often. The key isn’t to chase visibility through external validation; it’s to reconnect to your own inner light, to let it shine so brightly that others can’t help but see you.

We can all have that feeling from time to time of being lost. It can start as a single thought one day, and before you know it, you are stuck in a mindset of depression, negativity and feeling that you have totally lost your way in life.

It can appear out of the blue or can creep up, a niggle here, a doubt there. Whichever way it shows up, it can leave you feeling paralysed with doubt, fear and indecision, almost trapped in your own life.

But the good news…yes, there is good news; this can sometimes be a sign from your mind that you need to make changes, and it can be the wake-up call to start moving forward in your life with positivity and purpose.

I understand where you are coming from because I felt like this a few years ago… adrift in my own life, like I had lost my purpose, my reason and I was unsure of which direction to go in…I didn’t know what I wanted I just knew I wanted something more, something different and I needed to rediscover the person who I had been before I felt like this.

And so I embarked on a journey to rediscover myself, to fall back in love with my life, to find my purpose and push myself forward in new, exciting ways that stretched and challenged me.

Do you find yourself stuck in a place of negative thinking? Do your thoughts always turn to the negative side and you struggle to understand why this happens?

This is a common condition many people struggle from but it can have devastating and long-lasting effects on your life.

Negative thinking can stop you from achieving many things, it can ruin relationships and can hurt your self-esteem.

There are many reasons why you may be struggling to think positively such as;

• deep-rooted habits

• past experiences

• subconscious conditioning

You can find yourself struggling to think positively if you've been surrounded by negativity, stress, or criticism for a long time.

This can cause your mind to lean more naturally toward pessimistic thinking and your mind will believe it is protecting you.

Negative thought patterns can become automatic in your life which can mean it makes it difficult to break the cycle without conscious effort. However, just as negativity is learned, positivity can be cultivated through awareness and practice

By the time you get to your mid-life years, you will have already been through so much. You will have experienced many changes up to this point, good and bad - career changes, marriage, divorce, children leaving home, deaths and house moves.

All of the situations that you experience in your life will have an impact physically and mentally. In fact, by the time you get into your late forties and fifties, you will have experienced so much you may no longer recognise the person you once were.

The lessons of life can change you in many ways and this can lead to feeling lost, lacking direction and unsure of who you are any more.

It can be at this point a crisis of self can develop or a “mid-life crisis.”

A midlife crisis in women can manifest through a variety of symptoms that often reflect a mental struggle with ageing and life fulfilment.

Common signs include dissatisfaction or restlessness, re-evaluating life choices, and a desire for change in personal or professional areas.

Emotional symptoms such as anxiety and depression may arise, accompanied by a sense of urgency to pursue dreams or goals left unaddressed. Additionally, changes in relationships, including conflicts with partners or friends, can occur as women seek deeper connections or reconsider their roles.

Everyone can experience feelings of being stuck and unmotivated from time to time. Although it isn’t unusual, it can still cause emotional upset and stress.

If you are feeling like this at the moment, you will be well aware of the mental torment you can be putting yourself through, looking for ways out of the situation.

Feeling stuck and unmotivated often stems from a combination of internal and external factors. Internally, negative thought patterns, self-doubt, or a lack of clarity about your goals can drain your motivation and make it challenging to take action.

Externally, life stresses such as work pressures, relationship struggles, or an overwhelming environment can create a sense of inertia.

This feeling of being stuck may also arise from fear of failure or perfectionism, as the desire to achieve something without obstacles can paralyze your efforts.

Recognizing these barriers is the first step in getting motivated and unstuck.

We can all be guilty of negative thinking from time to time. And we can all benefit from changing our thinking from negative to positive. So many thoughts pass through our minds every day, it is little wonder we have negative thoughts as well as positives.

Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset and are you aware of the difference? The mindset you have will determine the results you get in your life. People with a fixed mindset will often stay rooted where they are whilst people with a growth mindset will stride through life.